Paintbrushes

I never took you for granted.
While so many others were swept away,
Spinning bottles and kissing for spare change,
I remembered the way tears dripped from your eyelashes
Like paint from a brush.
Thick bristles that brushed your cheeks when you blinked,
A face composed of more freckles than skin,
Hair that curled over ears as round as a doll's.
I remembered how your jaw set when you tried to hide,
How your body turned to stone and the light left your eyes
The time your steps dragged and your shoulders curled,
And you turned away when I tried to make you laugh.
I remembered when I saw you for the first time in a month,
When silver skylines were fresh in my mind,
When you leaped from the swing set and ran down your driveway,
And the sky was so blue when you smiled.
I remembered the way the light framed your face when you slept,
How your chin reminded me of Greek statue, but I didn't wake you.
I remembered your last words at the train station were,
"See you."
I remembered the moment I spotted you for the first time in six months,
The precise second you separated from the crowd and became real,
And I threw my arms around you so hard that you nearly fell.
I remembered when you left to stay at a friend's,
And something inside me snapped, and I cried, and I couldn't let go of you,
Because if you stepped out that door, you'd disappear again.
I remembered wearing one of your headphones at four in the morning,
Comforted by the solidity of your fingers clasped between my own,
Waiting for the train to take you.
I remembered how I lived in your time zone for ten days,
How you met me at the station with a camera and a flash,
And the first thing I saw in the new year was your face.
I remembered our final words to each other were, "I love you."
I remembered how your voice shook when you called me after Valentine's Day,
How you told me "it wasn't a goodbye, but it should've been",
How my throat closed and my organs vanished and my limbs were anger and tangible grief,
And I folded over and broke like a promise.
I remembered that call lasted 17 minutes and 47 seconds.
I remembered wondering if she knew how lucky she was
To wipe tears from eyelashes like paintbrushes.

I never took you for granted.